The Paper Shredder

Security is taken pretty darn seriously over here.  Let me tell you about the paper shredder.  Each office has a very small trash can, and a very large paper shredder! I'm talking heavy-duty, industrial-strength paper shredder.  These things are the size of a small washing machine!  They must turn very fast inside.  I've guessed this because they each have a 1-gallon plastic jug of oil attached to the side, with a tube running from the jug and into the paper shredder.  Looks sort of like an IV bag in a sick person...got to have that steady drip, drip, drip of oil to keep the gears lubricated.

You've guessed that these aren't your run-of-the-mill shredders!  Heck, you turn on one of these paper-eating-monsters and the lights in the room go dim momentarily!!  Well, that might be a bit of a stretch, but I promise you that you won't fall asleep at your desk while someone is running the paper shredder!!

The shredders really destroy paper.  These shredders cut both horizontally and vertically.  In fact, when they get through, each individual chunk of paper.....no, it wouldn't qualify to be called a "chunk".....each "itsy-bitsy" piece of paper is about the size of one of these letters on your computer screen.  

Of course, all of this extra effort is for security.  We don't want anything sensitive falling into the wrong hands.  In fact.....and don't tell this to the EPA.....we burn our trash over here.  That's right!  You never know what might happen to trash that is buried.....could be dug up in the middle of the night.  So, our trash goes out to a big flat spot and is burned while security guards watch over the whole operation.  

I joke a little about this, but security is taken seriously.  In fact, when I receive any mail, I carefully tear off any return address so that won't fall into the wrong hands. After I've collected a few of these torn-off addresses, I just drop them into that heavy-duty, industrial-strength paper shredder that sits in our office!!!  Then I know that I've done my part to keep friends and family safe.